“For better or worse” marriages must be converted into sanctified marriages. New marriages must start as sanctified marriages. We are here to build faith and a relationship with our Abba Father first. If heading into a new marriage, make it a sanctified marriage from the beginning, and it will be amazing. Everything in this book is an integral part of this chapter, especially the messages on Love, Humility, and Forgiveness.

Teenagers

This message is not about teens getting married, DON’T DO IT! It probably seems strange to start a marriage-building exercise with teens, but it is an important message. I begin here because teenagers connote a family, a symbol of our relationship in our Abba Father’s Family. Teenagers represent new life in blossom, as being born again is supposed to be. They represent the future. And it reminds us of our duty to teach them the ways of the LORD; to do that, we need to live the ways of the LORD. Putting this message anywhere else in the exercise just doesn’t fit.

Given that believers have eternal life, no matter how old we are, we are a teenager on our Abba Father’s timeline. Suppose you have teenagers or will. If you are beyond that stage in your earth family, find that feeling and bring it into your marriage as you convert it to a sanctified marriage. Bring that family feeling into our Abba Father’s Family.

The Invitation

This message invites young people to put their relationship with our Abba Father front and center in their life as an integral part of their maturation into adulthood. When thoughts of partnering and marriage start appearing in young people, the very best marriage model should be their goal. Parents with teenagers should be a stated teaching target in our churches.

We are reaching out to our youth with confidence that it will help them navigate the teen years into a strong relationship with our Abba Father and a sanctified marriage when the time comes. Our relationship with our Abba Father is described as Jesus the Groom and the church as his bride. That is similar to our Abba Father’s plan for husband and wife.

Unlike in ancient times, young people carry too much responsibility for their marriage plans without proper teaching. The “birds and bees” subject is not a stand-alone concept in our Abba Father’s eyes; it is an integral part of marriage along with how to select a spouse. The idea of sanctified marriage gives parents and older youth groups in church a natural entry into guiding their children toward marriage. Because sanctified marriage exists above secular marriage as our Abba Father’s plan, it comes with glorious features now lost in postmodern society.

The youth movement in our churches would be well advised to add sanctified marriage to the curriculum and bring our Abba Father into the adolescent dating process. It cannot hurt to get the young head and heart thinking about him and his plan and to practice his ways, especially when new hormones are raging. It is much easier to save oneself for marriage when our Abba Father is an integral part of dating.

Popularity in high school should come from “faith without works is dead,” not self-declared in-crowds and “clicks” judging others. The concept of sanctified marriage can help teach our young people to be kind to everyone. There are eight recognized strategies for bringing youth to our Abba Father in churches but none focus on getting young people to each other in a godly way.

The Body of Christ is a divine connection to each other and our Abba Father, not just a link to him. Churches do a great job of growing our knowledge of our Abba Father, but we tend to focus on the knowledge instead of our living relationship with our Abba Father. By looking at our Abba Father’s marriage plan, we can see our relationship with him come to life, and this will help teenagers navigate the challenges the enemy presents to them as they mature.

The high school years are a training program and a transitional period from the child classification into young adulthood. The high school experience should be about learning subjects and skills and practicing social interaction with our identity, morals, and values, which can only come from our Abba Father through parents, the Scripture and church. The goal is to build a foundation for life, not survive or conquer high school.

Churches might focus more on each teen’s needs in youth group programs. Youth programs should be more than godly entertainment for teens and do everything possible to help teens continue church after leaving home for college or independence.

When graduating high school, most teens look forward to college, trade school, career, or job. When we graduate from Sunday school, most teens . . .? Unless some are going to seminary, there does not seem to be a good answer after Sunday school except continuing to attend church. But 70% of teens do not do that. We believe the sanctified marriage approach, which includes our relationship with our Abba Father, is an inspired solution to the youth dropout problem.

Becoming one flesh in sanctified marriage requires self-examination of who we are; our idols, temperament, personality, and gifts. The difference between secular and sanctified marriage is adding the element of who we are in our Abba Father and glorifying him in our life. It has to make sense that teens should come out of high school with some recognition of who they are and especially who they are in our Abba Father. Parents and the church carry the responsibility for this.

The starting point is the commitment for teens to save sexual purity for sanctified marriage. But not just because sexual impurity is a sin but because purity glorifies our Abba Father. There can be no more significant message for a young person to learn than why he made us in the first place, to glorify him (Isaiah 43:7). In glorifying him in marriage to our spouse or our Savior, we can realize the sense of peace and joy with him as nothing else can give. Deciding to glorify him with our life, the enormity of teen maturation issues becomes simplified.

Parents are an integral part of the teen years, and a parent’s job is to teach their children our Abba Father. He chose Abraham for that very reason. “For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him” (Genesis 18:19).

The way of the LORD (Abba Father) is obedient love for him and all his creations. In this day and age, it is imperative that parents re-take the teaching of their children about life and the way of the Lord (Jesus). Even if parents enroll their children in religious schools, it is still the parent’s responsibility to stay engaged with them and demonstrate what their children should learn about the way of our Abba Father.

Our goal is confident young adults who are confident in our Abba Father. Not confident with all the answers, but confident in from where the answers come. Popularity, clicks, in-crowds, athletic stars, etc., are huge false idols teens too often seek to add helpful meaning to high school. Our Abba Father can be glorified on the athletic field, in activities, in class, and the halls. Do not let the idols influence the teen years; let our Abba Father be the influence.