This message is One Flesh Part 2. It is time to separate the two types of marriage that exist in our Abba Father’s world and American society. Our Abba Father created marriage for his purpose and design; his children created civil marriage for fee revenue and government protection of children, spouses, and assets. It is time to recognize the difference in glorifying God.
Our Abba Father does not reference “sanctified marriage” in the Scripture. He should not have to because the sanctification process is supposed to be the center point of our entire earth-life. Our Abba Father calls believers to dedicate their lives to the sanctification process leading to righteousness and carry that into marriage.
However, ELB gets in the way of many believers and seriously stunts their spiritual growth because they do not see the Groom/bride relationship with Christ that we all have, even if not married to a spouse.
The purpose of our sanctified marriage presentation is to re-energize the sanctification process and lift godly marriages out of the secular fray to make glorifying our Abba Father the foundation of our marriage. The sanctified marriage vows are made to our Abba Father as one flesh, not to each other. Obviously, that is just a recommendation; the intent is to drive the vow to prayer and start the sanctified marriage with a conversation with our Abba Father. S8M8 presents the vow in detail.
Jesus said to Nicodemus, John 3:3, “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except one be born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 1 John 4:13 adds, “hereby we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.” John tells us that Christ is in the believer through the Holy Spirit, and the believer is in him. In other words, believers become one with our Abba Father.
We need to pause for the word “abide” because it is a divine power word, not just a synonym for “live in” or “dwell in.” Abide is a permanent, forever indwelling, lifelong promise and condition of our life with Christ in us and us in him.
When we are born again, we become justified by our Abba Father into righteousness and are called to serve him and his purpose as a new creation with eternal life in relationship with him. Too many believers add Jesus to their earthly life and do not get excited about 2 Corinthians 5, which we must read in full. Verses 14-17, “For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that one died for all, therefore all died; and he died for all, that they that live should no longer live unto themselves, but unto him who for their sakes died and rose again. Wherefore we henceforth know no man after the flesh: even though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now we know him so no more. Wherefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, they are become new.” Sanctified marriage is a man and a woman who strive to live a 2 Corinthians 5 life with our Abba Father.
Let’s look at how we do that. Mark 10:6-9 repeats Genesis 2:24 in describing sanctified marriage, “But from the beginning of the creation, Male and female made he them. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh: so that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.“
This passage is famous for wedding ceremonies, but we miss its meaning because we are drawn to the conclusion (let not man separate) and ignore the foundational premise of one flesh. What our Abba Father is saying is that we transform our individual “me” into one “us” or “we” or “our” in sanctified marriage. There is no “me” in sanctified marriage.
When we add Isaiah 43:7, as confirmed in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “every one that is called by my name, and whom I have created for my glory, whom I have formed, yea, whom I have made,” we see the reality that our “me” should have ended when we received Christ as our Lord and Savior. We replace our “me” as believers with “thy will.” But we are a stiff-necked people.
In a sanctified marriage, the bride and groom should vow to our Abba Father as one flesh to obey his plan for marriage and seek his help to glorify him in it. Our pre-marital counseling is focused entirely on growing a couple’s faith in that vow, not negotiating territory in a marriage for each “me” to live separately in their ELB.
Our Abba Father is practical so let’s continue. He created man and woman as equal in his image, Genesis 1:27, “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.“
1 Corinthians 11:9-12 affirms Genesis, “for neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man: for this cause ought the woman to have a sign of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, neither is the woman without the man, nor the man without the woman, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so is the man also by the woman; but all things are of God.“
We commonly refer to marriage as a “partnership,” which is not a godly term, and it typically consists of two “mes” (“mes” is the plural of “me,” not often seen). Our Abba Father deals in permanent covenants while partnerships are contracts that are easily broken and ended. Sanctified marriage is not a partnership; it is a one-flesh covenant.
In business, a hypothesis says, “partnerships don’t work,” which applies to too many marriage partnerships. The reason is that decision-making can be complex when two “me” people disagree, and our Abba Father knows that people even disagree about him. Ephesians 5:21-23 reveals the solution, “subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body.”
Men and women are made equal, but for different purposes. The woman chooses to obey her husband because our Abba Father asks her to. And in doing so she knows she is both equal and blessed by our Abba Father for her obedience to him. We have to look at this experience through our Abba Father’s eyes, not our dead earthly eyes. Our Abba Father seeks harmony and designates man as the final decision maker, not because man is superior, but because our Abba Father wants harmony and made his plan in his infinite wisdom. Please pray on that.
Too many people will read the previous paragraph and see it as our Abba Father giving the man back his “me,” and that is not the case. The “us” or oneness still defines the relationship. The point is that when the woman says to the man, “have some forbidden fruit,” the man is confident in saying, “no, that is not our Abba Father’s way,” and that is all the woman needs to return the fruit to the ground.
The shoe can just as quickly be on the other foot. Men can serve up forbidden fruit as well. The woman then reminds the man of his duty to our Abba Father and her to make the godly decision, which must be enough in a sanctified marriage. Most differences in a sanctified marriage must be about our Abba Father, not a bruised “me” trying to get recognized.
Alternating peas, corn, and broccoli for the dinner vegetable is still an “us” decision, but our Abba Father’s only interest is the harmony in the “us.” Ephesians 5:24-33 affirms that man does not get his “me” back in sanctified marriage, “But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; because we are members of his body. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband.“
The reality of a life that glorifies our Abba Father is that almost nothing we fret about in earthly life means anything to him and should not be allowed to infect a sanctified marriage nor any believer in the single life.
